How do we create a life worth living?
We have to start by defining what makes us happy and then set out to have more of that in our lives and less of what makes us unhappy. Sounds easy right?
I tried to do this, I really did. The unhappy bit is easier than the happy. So, my list of unhappy goes something like this:
- Cleaning – I fucking hate it. Dusting just serves to create dust, it is a never ending circle of dust life. Hoovering, sweeping and mopping floors – life is just too short for this shite.
- Ironing – ditto. It is dull, also never-ending. You wear it, wash it and it needs to be ironed – same for those lovely Egyptian cotton sheets we were all conned into having – the ones with the zillion thread count that it is impossible to iron. And, if like me you are the one who stays at home and ‘does not work’ then you have the joy of doing the washing and ironing for anyone who happens to stray into your house – the kids friends, the friends you have that stay in the spare room and crease those bastard sheets!
- Shopping – don’t get me wrong I love me a bit of retail therapy but it has to be either on an ‘I don’t feel fat’ day or a shoe shopping experience. Food shopping is the most boring sort of shopping around. Especially, if like me you live where the supermarkets do not sell anything to distract you – like lacy knickers, fluffy socks or housewares.
- Cooking – even this has dulled now that I do it every fucking night. Trying to think of new things to do with mince that don’ t involve shoving it up someone’s arse is exhausting. I do like cooking for dinner parties but then there is the endless clean up – and does lipstick ever really come off a wine glass?
- Getting ready to go out – oooh this is now a minefield. I start with a picture in my head of how I want to look – Make-up and clothes. I end up with eyeliner that looks like a blind fish did it a fat charcoal pencil held in her fins and a pile of clothes on the bed that ‘make me look fat’, yes I know clothes don’t have the power to do this. By the time I struggle into Spanx and the same outfit I wore the week before I am sweating like a pig that just finished a marathon and in a bad mood.
This is just my top 5! My life is made up of doing mundane chores in a half-arsed way, binge-watching Netflix and eating too many carbs whilst slouched on the sofa in a pair of unflattering pyjamas with a wine stain down the front and fluffy socks. yeah – a life really worth living.
What would make me happy would be to weigh a stone less, have a flat stomach and breasts that pass the pencil test, a less droopy arse and to be 30 years younger, living a life without care, just living in the moment. Drinking cocktails and travelling, meeting new people, having fun. A real-life rom-com, instead of my own real-life rom-vom.
So, then I thought ‘what if I write my own rom-com and live according to it? I did get a bit distracted by thinking about who would play young, then older me. For the record I have decided on;
Younger me – Emma Stone
Mummy me – Lauren Graham
Older me – Helen Mirren
I am now working on what sort of life I want to be living, certainly one that film makers would be clamouring to make and that actors would be falling over themselves to star .
Stay tuned for part two where I start to write the script for this life worth living.